Jack has never been interested in toys, as far as toys being for playing with goes. Jack treats his toys like he would treat any squirrel or rodent, they are to be ripped limb from limb and their innards are spread across the apartment while he stands triumphant in all his terrible glory over their shattered forms. Toys are just another instrument of Jack's unending megalomania and are seen as nothing more than conquests of his divine will. I have yet to find a toy that kind stand up to 30 minutes of intense abuse from the scissoring action of Jack's jaws, great white sharks would be envious of the power of Jack's methodical sawing actions. I thought the Kong Wubba was going to stand the acid test though since I was told that the toy is "heeler tough". I hate to say it, but blue heelers just aren't in the same league as Jack is and was my hopes were soon thoroughly dashed. Jack ripped open one of the seams of his latest victim within 30 minutes and then began actively shredding what was left of the toy. Seriously, this thing was made of the same material as leashes and he tore it apart like it was tissue paper. Why can't he just play with the damn things as opposed to destroy them completely?
I feel bad for poor Carter, as soon as Jack finishes with his designated toy he sets upon Carter's toy with the same fury that he showed his own toy. All dingo toys die horrible, horrible deaths in my household, Jack persecutes them all with extreme prejudice. Jack is the best there is at what he does and what he does isn't very nice. The only thing that has stood the test of time in our household is this blue rubber ball that I bought for Carter three years ago. This ball is the very embodiment of courage and defiance and many songs should be sung in it's honor. That ball is Carter's absolute pride and joy and he expects me to throw it for him every waking moment of every day. Old Blue is the only dingo toy that Jack has not been able to demolish and it frustrates hime to know end. Jack steals Old Blue from Carter at least once each day and begins his ritual of trying to rend the ball into pieces. I've never seen Jack so determined about anything in my life, he tries and tries but just cannot defeat this ball for the life of him. If it weren't for Old Blue, I'm pretty sure Jack would have succeeded in taking over the world by now.
Three years of having a ferocious dingo try to rend you into little pieces is long time, so I decided to buy Carter a couple of new balls so Old Blue could retire to our empty dingo toy basket (empty because no toy has ever survived long enough to be retired in my apartment). So, I went back to Petsmart today and selected two new balls of different sizes for Carter to fawn and obsess over constantly. Jack has no interest in playing ball whatsoever like Carter does, balls are just another item to be destroyed to Jack. So, I came home with these two balls and Jack set on the smaller one with his usual voracity and Carter was left with the larger ball. Sure enough, 30 minutes later Jack had torn a large gaping hole in the small ball and he was poised to go "medieval on it's ass". I put the hapless ball out of it's misery by throwing it away and while I was doing this Jack stole Carter's other new ball and began the methodical process of destroying it too. The larger ball has managed to withstand Jack's first onslaught but he did manage to remove the squeaky plug from it and has frayed the rubber around the gaping hole that's left. I expect the ball's defenses will fail later this evening and Jack will have another notch in his belt from his latest conquest.
This means that Old Blue will not be able to retire to the comforts of the dingos' empty toy basket as was planned. Carter loves that ball more than he loves me, it's all he really lives for I think. Jack will continue his efforts to be Old Blue's ultimate undoing and I'm sure he will come up with new methods to torture the poor thing. So, I raise my glass in a toast of Old Blue for defying the odds and standing the test of time against a foe who is as unyielding as he is vicious. Here's to survival in the face of extreme adversity because some dingos just want to watch the world burn.....
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