What is it with energy drinks anyway?

I was journaling at my usual haunt tonight I saw a guy walk by chugging down one of those five hour energy drinks. It of course got me thinking about what the big deal it is with those things anyway. I've never used the things myself since they are mainly highly concentrated sugar water with a high dose of caffeine. Are we so addicted to caffeine as a society that we need higher and higher doses just to get us through the day? Combat lethargy, drink pure caffeine and have your first heart attack at fifteen today! Diabetes and heart attacks, sounds like I'm really missing out here. Trust me, I'm doing the world a favor by not imbibing these cocktails of stamina. I've essentially been caffeine free all of my life and rather an animated fellow without the help of any stimulants. Shit, if I even tried coffee I'd hate to see what would happen. Hithereilikecracklotsandlotsofcrack!!Doyoulikecrack? I AM CORNHOLIO, I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!.....or something like that I'm sure. I wouldn't be surprised if the damn things are linked to male pattern baldness and impotence. cheers and drink up for me!