This is how my mind works........every day.

I am Shinji Ikari. I am the hedgehog. Forgive what is about to come next, it's very raw, unfiltered and emotional. I have this conversation in my mind. Every day.

Stay away.
Stay away.
Stay away.
Stay away.
I don't trust you.
Stay away.
Stay away.
Stay away.
Stay away.


StayAwayStayAwayStayAwayStayAwayStayAwayStayAwayStayAwayStayAwayStayAway.

Stay. Away.
I don't trust you.

STAY AWAY!
 I. Don't. Trust. You.

Any of you.
TRUST NO ONE......they will only hurt you.

You must never trust anyone again.
I DON'T NEED ANYONE IN MY LIFE, THEY ONLY CAUSE ME PAIN!

......and they don't care.

They don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care.
They don't care.
They. Don't. Care.

THEY DON'T CARE!!!!!

Please, leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

.............don't let anyone near................don't let anyone near.................don't let anyone near..........

DON'T LET ANYONE NEAR!!!!!

.........they will hurt you.
They will hurt you.
They will hurt you.
They will hurt you.
They will hurt you.

They. Will. Hurt. You.

THEY WILL HURT YOU!!!!!

........they won't accept you.
They won't accept you.
They won't accept you.
They won't accept you.
They won't accept you.

THEY WON'T ACCEPT YOU!!!!!

..........they will abandon you.
They will abandon you.
They will abandon you.
They will abandon you.
They will abandon you.

They. Will. Abandon. You.

THEY WILL ABANDON YOU!!!!!!!

........or they will betray you.
They will betray you.
They will betray you.
They will betray you.
They will betray you.

They. Will. Betray. You.

THEY WILL BETRAY YOU!!!!!!!

Trust. No. One......................................ever.

I will never trust again. I will never trust again. I will never trust again. I will never trust again.

I. Will. Never. Trust. Again.

I WILL NEVER TRUST AGAIN...............ever.

Who can you trust.....................................? No one.
Who can you trust.....................................? No one.
Who can you trust.....................................? No one.

Who can you trust.....................................? NO ONE!

TRUST NO ONE!
TRUST NO ONE!
TRUST NO ONE!
TRUST NO ONE!

If you keep them away, they can't hurt you, betray you, abandon you...........
If you keep them away......
If you keep them away......
If you keep them away......

YOU MUST KEEP THEM AWAY!!!!!

STAY AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME!

.......this is my fault.
This is my fault.
This is my fault.
This is my fault.
This is my fault.

This. Is. My. Fault.

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!

............it has always been my fault.
It has always been my fault.
It has always been my fault.
It has always been my fault.
It has always been my fault.

It. Has. Always. Been. My. Fault.

IT WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
StopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopItStopIt.

...........you can't stop it..................you never will.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to be left alone.

Just. Stay. Away.

People only hurt me.
People only hurt me because I'm bad.
People only hurt me because I'm bad and flawed.
People only hurt me because I'm bad, flawed, and I'm less than human.
People only hurt me because I'm bad, flawed, less than human, AND BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!

I deserve it.
I deserve it.
I deserve it.
I deserve it.

I. Deserve. It.

I WILL ALWAYS DESERVE IT!!!!!!!

I must always hide.
I must always hide.
I must always hide.
I must always hide.

I. Must. Always. Hide.

I MUST ALWAYS HIDE!!!!!
ALWAYS!
ALWAYS!
ALWAYS!
ALWAYS!

A!L!W!A!Y!S!

AlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlwaysAlways

Smile and pretend everything is okay.
Smile and pretend everything is okay.
Smile and pretend everything is okay.
(they won't notice)
Smile and pretend everything is okay.
Smile and pretend everything is okay.
Smile and pretend everything is okay.
(they won't notice)

Always smile and pretend everything is okay.
(they will never notice)

Look at me, I'm okay.
Look at me, I'm okay.
Look at me, I'm okay.
Look at me, I'm okay.
(they are looking at you)

I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay..........................stay away............................
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay..........................stay away............................

I'M OKAY......................STAY AWAY......................

I'M ALWAYS OKAY......................STAY AWAY..................ALWAYS.

(they are still looking)
Distract them.
Distract them.
Distract them.............................stay away.....................
Distract them.
Distract them.............................stay away.....................

(it's not working, they will see the truth)

STAYAWAYSTAYAWAYSTAYAWAYSTAYAWAYSTAYAWAYSTAYAWAYSTAYAWAY

(they can see it, the truth, they can see it)

RUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAY

MUST. RUN. AWAY.

HIDE.
HIDE.
HIDE.
HIDE.
(they are searching for you......and the truth)
HIDE.
HIDE.
HIDE.
HIDE.

DON'TFINDMEDON'TFINDMEDON'TFINDMEDON'TFINDMEDON'TFINDME


Who are you?
I don't know.
Who are you?
I don't know.
Who are you?
I don't know.
Who? Are? You?
I. Don't. Know.

WHO ARE YOU??????????????
I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know what people want me to be.
(you should be that person)
I know what people want me to be.
(you should be that person)
I know what people want me to be.
(you should be that person)

I don't want to be what people want me to be.
(you must be that person)
I don't want to be what people want me to be.
(you must be that person)
I don't want to be what people want me to be.
(you must be that person)

I have to try to be a good person.
(you aren't a good person)
I have to try to be a good person.
(you aren't a good person)
I have to try to be a good person.
(you aren't a good person...............................and you never will be)