A life surreal

Have you ever had one of those moments where something a rush of memories so vivid hit you and it literally feels like it happened to someone else? I had one of those moments recently. My neck had really been bothering me due to normal wear and tear at work coupled with the fact that I've been mountain biking about 5 days a week. Finally it got to the point that I couldn't bear it at work anymore so I sprung for a massage. I haven't had a massage in over 4 years now and as soon as I entered the room and got on the table, a huge flood of memories came over me. These were more than just memories, it was more like a feeling..... it was very familiar and very comfortable, yet very unfamiliar and dream like in nature.

The reason for this flood of memories is that my ex-wife is a massage therapist (not sure if she is still practicing or not) and she used to come home every night smelling like massage oil. The smell in the massage room is what triggered the memories and I suddenly remembered a different point in time in my life. It really was a surreal experience, I thought of everything that was going on in my life at the time, my marriage, having two puppies, working a 9 to 5 job, times spent with friends, tender moments with my wife. A literal onslaught of memories, with strong emotions attached to each one. That was only 5 years ago but looking back on it now, it's hard to believe that I really was that person. That Jon (or Noj, depending on what day it is) seems like a complete stranger to me. I worried about far different things than I do now, my goals and aspirations were completely different, even my identity seemed strange compared to who I am now. I remember that I loved my wife very much but things just didn't work out for us.

Moving to Kauai was the catalyst for the radical changes in my life, I suddenly found myself alone in a completely unfamiliar place and culture. I managed as best I could and made the most of my time there and when I returned home, I was a different person. That was 3 years ago now and to be honest, the greatest changes were yet to take place. A lot of unfortunate things occurred in my life in 3 short years. Carly died, I broke my arm, Grandpa died and I still have financial woes stemming from the island and my mountain biking accident. I'm not complaining or whining about this, those things were unfortunate but that's life..... things happen, good and bad. I was ashamed of myself, I was depressed, I hid from the world in my apartment, I was angry and bitter, I stopped doing everything. I spent all my time wondering what I did wrong. How did I screw everything up? Why was all of this happening to me? I longed for the life I once had. But that's life! Stuff happens! You have to believe that the best days of your life are ahead of you, not behind you.

So there I was on the massage, table lost in memories and I came to the conclusion that even after everything that has happened over the last 4 years, I'm happier now! I'm not bitter or angry anymore, I even hope that my ex-wife is happy. A lot of good things have happened to me in those 4 years, I was just focused on the negative. I lived in Hawaii, who can say they gave everything up to go live in the middle of the south pacific for two years? Things are different now, I'm having a great time riding my bike with my dogs and getting in touch with myself. It just seemed so surreal to have such a vivid experience of memories from a time not so long ago not being sure if those things really happened. Our experiences make us who we are but they don't define with us. I'm a much different person now and I'm very happy about it!

I think my hobbies are trying to kill me!

So, here I am sitting in my chair with a back ache that has been persistent for the last two weeks and a cold that won't seem to go away...... all because I've been mountain biking just about every day for the last 7 weeks. Now you may say that doesn't sound much like much but trust me, my hobbies have tried to kill me numerous times. We'll start with skiing..... It's an absolute miracle that I haven't sustained any serious bodily harm in the thirty odd years that I have enjoyed the sport. I've collided with trees, logs, stumps and even been run over by more than one snowboarder. I've crashed so hard (underneath the chairlift for all to see of course) that my hat, gloves, goggles, poles and skis were strewn about in a pattern most commonly found after a plane crash. One time I wrecked and both skis came per standard operating procedure, I turned uphill to see where both could be found only to see one at the scene of the crash. Not two seconds later did I hear a large THWANG downslope from me. I turned to see my other ski sticking straight up out of the snow like a telephone pole. I'm sure you are thinking that I must really suck at skiing, this is not the case, I may not be hiking up huge cliff faces to ski down 60 degree spines in Alaska, but I can handle double black diamonds pretty well. Two years ago I crashed so hard that I split the lense in my goggles. The good news is that my two years on Kauai completely ruined my tolerance for winter so I no longer ski.

Kauai brought a new sport into the fold, bodyboarding (boogie boarding for those not serious about it). Once I figured out how ride across a wave and got tubed for the first time, I was in love. It wasn't long before I was riding all the local breaks (the kind that kill tourists), it should be noted that these breaks are not sand bottom, they are rock or coral bottom. Once I was happily riding across a wave when a dumbass tourist with his back to the surf appeared directly in my path. It was either bail or hit this guy head on..... so I bailed and smashed my forehead on the bottom. One ER visit later with a CT scan showed no permanent damage to my brilliance. However, my forehead was severely swollen from blood leakage sustained from the impact, which promptly drained downward giving me two of the blackest eyes you can possible imagine. About six months later I was riding at the same beach, the surf was really aggressive that day and it was no place for novices. I watched this tourist take 3 waves on his head (how he didn't hit the bottom is a miracle), deciding to do him a favor, I told him that this was no place for someone who didn't know what they were doing. He thanked me and headed for shore as I paddled back out to await the next set of waves. Sure enough a great set rolled in and I grabbed the first wave. Thinking I was cool, I decided to do a roll off the wave..... and promptly went straight down and smashed my head on the rock. How I stayed conscious is a miracle and I made my way to the surface. I was dazed to say the very least.....too dazed to notice all the locals frantically paddling in for shore. One local was nice enough to yell "Eh Brah, you got blood all over the side of your head!". This was the reason for all of the frantic paddling for shore, I was chumming the water and no one wanted to be shark bait that day. Ten stitches and an eventual infection later, I was back out in the water happily trying to get killed again. Finally, there was this time that I was hiking this jungle nature trail to hell with my friends Noah and Matt when I slipped in the Kauai mud and found myself hanging precariously by some foliage over a serious drop off, fortunately Noah snatched me back up before I fell to my doom!

Well, I made it back to the mainland in one piece two years later with some new scars to show for bragging rights. This brings us back to mountain biking, the sport that has come the closest to removing me from the gene pool over the last 17 years. Where do I even start? Well, there was this one time where I fell down a steep embankment and was almost impaled by a branch sticking out of a fallen log. I had scratches all over my forearms and my riding partner insisted that we sanitize my dirt clogged wounds with some alcohol based hand sanitizing gel....... you could hear me screaming for a 10 mile radius when the gel was applied. Then there was the time my friends and I were negotiating an old downhill course outside of Bozeman, I was way out in front of them powerbombing the trail while Blur's "Song Number 2" kicking around in my head (this was pre-iPod days). My front tire slipped into a rut...... and the bike and I bounced end over end.....like three times. I was still on the ground moaning when my friends caught up with me five minutes later. Instead of helping me they were like, "Dude, look at your bike!". I looked over only to see the rear wheel of my prized toy bent over like taco shell. I had fun walking the bike out the last mile and a half to the trailhead. That isn't the ultimate though, the ultimate occurred just over two years ago just south of Missoula up Pattee Canyon. I was powerbombing down a very familiar trail trying to keep up with Jack, the Porsche 911 Turbo of canines, when I hit an exposed rock head on and went over the handle bars, only this time I didn't bounce. I broke my right arm and about 3 left ribs. I hit so hard it cracked to face of my cell phone in my backpack and completely shattered my sunglasses. Oddly enough the bike emerged unscathed and Jack was looking at me like I was some kind of pansy as I screamed in pain. Needless to say, the mile walk back to the trailhead with the bike was much more miserable than my previous walk of shame.

 So here I sit with my cold and aching back, all from mountain biking too much and I have come to the conclusion that my hobbies are definitely trying to kill me. Some people argue that I am just accident prone but I know for sure that they couldn't be more incorrect if they tried to be. I do have hobbies that haven't attempted to kill me yet like reading and video games but I'm sure they are plotting my demise as I speak. Fortunately I'm a tough bird to snuff out so I proudly stick my tongue out and keep on keeping on!

Downhill speed upgraded to preposterous from ridiculous!

Wow, what a difference a new shock makes on my mountain bike! The shock itself is much bigger so it has far more travel than my old one did. The icing on the cake is that the travel is adjustable so I can dial it way down when riding up the mountain so my center of gravity is further foreword. On the downhill I can dial it all the way up for full travel, this shifts my center of gravity father back on the bike which is far more stable. The difference on the downhill is almost unbelievable! The extra travel really smoothes things out and I feel far more stable at speed. As a result, downhill speeds have exceeded the ridiculous limits up into the preposterous zone (ludicrous speed is still off limits though)! I'm a very camper today, I'm not sure how the dogs felt though, even Jack was behind me today!

Anyone seen any Daleks?

Doctor Who I presume? Since when is the TARDIS a Jaguar X Type?


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Blogging 101?

Well here we go, I'm "officially" blogging now. So, uh....where do I go from here? If there is one thing that I have learned in the last 2 months, it's that I enjoy writing and it helps me stay centered. I usually journal around 5 days a week, most of that is boring affirmation stuff that would put the worst insomniac to sleep. I just decided that I want to share some of my thoughts and opinions openly. Anyone who knows me is more than aware of the fact that I have opinions.....on everything and they are usually very animated. My goal is to keep this blog light hearted, positive and somewhat humorous. So I come to the first major hurdle, how do I get anyone to read the meanderings of an eccentric guy in his late 30's? I honestly don't know. If you are reading this then I can claim my first victory in this endeavor. This is a very exciting time for me, I'm connecting with things long forgotten and learning new things about myself everyday. Life is interesting, I'm taking things one day at a time and am trying to appreciate things as much as I possibly can. Interesting things always seem to happen to me, many of which are very humorous. Yesterday I decided I was going to drive my car into my garage with my mountain bike still mounted on the roof, needless to say, that didn't end well for my bike or the bike rack that I spent several hours trying to install six years ago. I decided to just laugh and learn at that one. Where do I go from here? Anywhere, the sky is the limit, I hope you will join me!

Today's quote: "Without darkness, there is no light."


Would you like to play
With the thought of a friend
In a distant passing stage?

Location:N Higgins Ave,Missoula,United States